It was the middle of December and I was visiting Berlin for a week-long journalism conference and reunion to which I had been invited. The day before it started, I decided to go with my Berlin friend to a small family-owned Thai restaurant nearby the Tempelhof Airport (which is closed down).
We sat at a two-person table, and next us was a middle-aged German woman with a sophisticated look. Along with her food she had ordered an orange juice, which had been sitting on her table the time she had taken to eat her meal – let’s say about 20 minutes. The server, a very nice Thai man, who spoke broken German got our order. But right before he left to put our order, the lady called his attention and asked him in a serious but wondering tone, raising the glass of the two-layer-like orange juice and pointing at it with her free hand, “Können Sie das erklären?” (can you explain this?). The way it sounded to me, an advanced-level German speaker, and to the waiter (I could tell by his concern and almost scared face) suggested an ill-tempered complaint. My jaw dropped and the waiter was so nervous and intimidated he barely found any words to explain. I felt so sorry for the waiter – it wasn’t his fault.
My German friend looked at us – foreigners – and smiled. In a friendly tone, she explained to the woman that any fruit juice that is made fresh and sits unstirred for a while will eventually separate into two layers. The pulp sinks to the bottom and the water rises to the top if it sits still for a while. The waiter hesitantly nodded his head. He was grateful that my friend had taken over what seemed to me as a clash. The woman thanked her, stirred the juice and gladly drank it.
At that moment I realized it is true that there is more to learning a language than what you learn in a classroom. Later that day I asked my friend if the lady’s tone of voice when asking the question was ill-intended and she answered no. She was just puzzled by the juice and was really just wondering what had happened. I explained to her how I had felt at the moment, and she reminded me of how Germans and the German language are simply straightforward. “We have a word for everything, and we actually consider it rude when someone is trying to flower something up.”
Sometimes they may come across as too honest. But for them it is more rude to try to seem nice and not mean it, than to be serious and honest about something you may not like.
Understanding a language goes beyond the words. Expressions, hand gestures and tones of voice mean different things depending on the culture. I learned that Germans are some of the nicest people I have ever encountered. They are always curious, open-minded and willing to help you if you need it.
For the purposes of this blog I am generalizing. But this educated generalization also comes from the great experience I had with all the people I encountered during the total of 10 months I lived in Berlin.
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very nice! Good thoughts. This is what I mean. write more often