I moved to The United States almost 11 years ago. Sometimes I don’t understand people’s reactions toward some things I say–a comment or a joke. I still have a bit of an accent, even though I moved here a while ago. People don’t have any trouble understanding me at all, but sometimes they misinterpret the intention with which I say anything because of the intonation I use.
A clear example of this is at work. I moved from Florida to Washington D.C. about three months ago and started to work at Anthropologie. (Yeah, I know, really nice clothes). There are about 60 associates at the store and about eight managers. I get along great with pretty much everyone–we make fun of each other and just have fun at our job. But out of all the managers, I have had a hard time breaking the ice with her. There is a barrier between us, which I don’t understand how it got there. She is a nice person, and respectful to all and every employee. In fact, if I have something to discuss with her, she will make herself available to help me so that I can better serve our customers. Still at times is hard to communicate with her. I didn’t understand her indifference towards me sometimes, until I communicated this with one of my co-workers.
She told me that the manager had questioned my attitude at work. When I heard this I didn’t understand at all what she meant. I really enjoy my job, and even if it is only a part-time I always have a great time with the rest of the team, and I am up for helping whoever is new or needs a hand! I asked the person who shared this with me, if she had any idea why the manager had thought that, and she explained to me that even in the beginning it was hard for her to understand the intention with which I did or say some things.That sometimes when I spoke I would say things in a way that may have caused the manager to think I was unhappy or had the wrong attitude towards what I was doing.
I realized the same thing happened once while I was in college… I thought to myself–”again.”
That particular story in brief–I used to live with three American roommates when I was in college, and in the beginning one of them would unexpectedly snap at me and I didn’t understand why. I asked my other roommate, Troy, who is now one of my closest friends, to tell me what was wrong, because I didn’t really understand the other’s reaction. She told me that she might have understood what I said in a rude way. (I don’t remember what it was).
I realized that accents are a something special to deal with. I am making an extra effort to make anything I may say in English sound the way I mean it and come across in the intended way.
When I think back, it is not only me, but even I have misunderstood other people who speak a certain language as their second and remember taking what they say the wrong way. Ever since that experience with my roommate, I learned to ask twice about what they mean, if I have any doubts. At this point, learning to read body language and hearing so many languages and accents I can understand what they mean and if they mean well or not. But for those who have not been so exposed to foreign languages, as well as for those who speak in a second language on a daily basis and don’t realize that what they say may be misinterpreted, it is a two way street. If you want to be understood, you have to understand the other one first. It goes both ways.
As for my manager, I try to show her how much I actually enjoy my job. Little by little she has become more friendly with me, especially after seeing how the other managers and associates enjoy my company and work.
